19 April 2010

It's true that I've been too blue to blog. What a sorry state of affairs it has been. I mean really, volcanoes...

But, we must move on and count our blessings. I'm a big believer in fate. I think it's nice to recognise that there is plenty of existence that is unfathomable to the human mind. I had that very same argument with Nick over a burger at Big Red on Saturday. We were both extraordinarily hung over and it was hard to grasp that I couldn't take a positivist view on some matter. I spit on you, positivism!

I don't spit on science though... it's a brilliant pastime... full of wonderful theories...

That's what started it, now I come to think of it... I called physics a theory. Why were we talking about physics? I believe it was something to do with mayonnaise or something equally ridiculous. I think the moral of the story is, don't start a conversation about the wonders of science with me when we're desperately hung over.

Coachella. I've been going on about it for five years now. It wasn't a whim. It was a destination that I was going to make at least once in my life. We waited to see the line-up and then booked it. It was my birthday present from lover. Next year? Oh, I don't know.

What a drama queen.

On Thursday the news came through and for the next 36 hours I was glued to the BBC watching the cloud unfold over Northern Europe. Every eight hours or so another flight that I was on was cancelled and my travel agent called to say that I was on the next available one. Always, always choose Flight Centre in High Street Kensington. They are miracle workers.

Coachella took place in my lounge on Friday night. It started with Nick placing a glass of red in my hand as we discussed whether I actually wanted to listen to my Coachella playlist or whether that would be too emotional. After another couple of glasses I'd put the playlist on, but with no dinner in my stomach, that's about as far as my memory goes. I know we were at Big Red when my third flight was cancelled because that was the point when Jade, seeing a rather morose face on me, bought a Big Red singlet for me! And what does it say? "Bitch, you ain't shit!". It has a picture of two scantily women, one on hands and knees, the other atop the first, riding her like a horse. It's tres hot. We'd been joking the previous week that we'd get a matching pair. Well, I couldn't let her go without, so I bought one for her too. And now we're really cool.

Just bear in mind that Big Red services the woman who work at the Pentonville Prison.

So, after all that, we went to Martin's for some Rock Band action and staggered home at about ten o'clock in the morning. On the way, I called Flight Centre, called the trip off and went home to face the landlords who were making a visit to see if they could fix the cistern, the shower, the hot water and those other items that I've been complaining of recently. That was an ordeal. I can't even write about it - the memories that it stirs up are horrific. Why, oh, why couldn't they just call a plumber?!

But, whilst they were there, I did manage to produce some excellent Melonart. Nick bought me a large yellow melon on the way home from lunch and this melon resembled a lemon. A melemon. A lemelon?

And, as we sat around the kitchen table, waiting for them to be done with replacing some sort of something in the cistern, which ultimately didn't work, I picked up a pen and drew a lovely little lacrimose face on my lemelon.

Jacques had mentioned a book called Stuff on my Cat. I think that was the name - you get the picture regardless. It features, amongst other things, a cat with whipped cream and a cherry on top of its head. Cruel? I don't know. What kind of personality does the cat have? Some cats don't mind these things. Amusing? Seemed to be.

Well, this is Things on Fruit. Fruitart. Lemelonart? The fruit needn't be only drawn on. We were discussing sequins and glitter for our pineapple. I've taken a photo of the melonart for your viewing pleasure.

This weekend, I also introduced Nick to Look Around You. I've shown some of you already. Initially it was a show that Andy had introduced me to. And if you look it up on Youtube, you'll understand. I recommend that you start with Water and move to Iron. It's the ants and the scissors that take my fancy.

I tell you what though. The house looks amazing. When I'm vexed, I clean. Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!

I've just finished a long chat about the woes of opportunities lost to a volcano with Tommy. I must say, it's hit us both hard. But, there were many more much greater tragedies. Bone marrow only lasts for 72 hours and often needs to be carried by air to its destination as the donor lives abroad. There are people who will not have their transplants.

Perspective.